Chicago sports fans

For the avid Chicago sports fan, High-Definition Television is a must. HD makes everything better. It's the weed of TV. Whether watching captivating Cubs games, south side Sox games, or the Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup, HD TV amplifies the intensity. If you don't have HD, you didn't truly see the Patriots shwhack the Bears or Cutler getting pummeled into the snow.

High-Definition kicks ass. That's why Chicago sports people, myself included, get really pissed off when we look for a game and can't find it. We know it's on, we just looked at the schedule.

Oh, SON OF A BITCH.

From WGN we slowly move up the channel listing and yep, there it is. Smack dab on The U, basically a WGN independent channel. HD not included. What a joke.

In 2010, it is beginning to annoy me that the Bulls are still making deals with TV stations that don't carry HD. The game tonight is against the 2nd place Pacers, a game that will either expand the Bulls first place lead in the division or close the gap. And it will be on 1998 quality television. Might as well stream it Live with a hand held camera to a PC.

Pissed about the ordeal, I decide to do some research on the matter. So I go to Google, Jesus of the Internet. I start to put in my detailed search, "why are the Bulls on channel 26." I got to "why are the" and stopped, looking at all of the search suggestions. Some strange things come up, like "why are the French called frogs," and--the question of our generation--"why are the Kardashians famous?" But then I made a startling discovery. With the exception of two results, these are the rest:

Why are the White Sox wearing green?
Why are the flags at half mast today in Illinois?
Why are the Bears wearing 99 on their helmets?
Why are the Bears playing in Toronto?
Why are the Bears wearing pink?

There you have it. Chicago people, although apparently educated about the positive results wielded from surfing Google, do not own TVs with sound. I listen to Chicago sports radio (670) so this doesn't come as much of a surprise. Chicago fans, at least a sizable portion, are completely and utterly retarded--unable to use any cognitive ability to turn an idea into a conclusive reason. And don't deny my diagnosis. I am fully qualified to make such a statement. I was a Direct Support Person for 9 months working with the aforementioned Chicago area developmentally disabled. I'm practically a doctor now.

But using my superior midwestern thinking skills, I started reasoning, coming to more reasonably reasonable reasons on the more likely reasons these Chicago related suggestions came up. One being that Google can analyze where I am and give me suggestions that fit my area. Well that makes sense.

And then the Bulls game came on.

I turn around.

I realize my first hypothesis about Chicago meat heads was right.

So...

When the fuck did The U start providing High-Definition?

Shit. I'm a Chicago meatball.

Time to apply at McDonalds for a janitorial position.

Well at least I can watch Derrick Rose destroy in HD now.

-Skitz