Before proceeding, I want you to know that this is not for children. If you're still collecting toys out of Happy Meal bags or you don't remember Keenan and Kel on Sunday nights, then you need to stop reading.
Now.
What a way to start of December. Finally I'm posting this; a kickstart to the great final month of 2010 and for me in the States!
Bordem: An activity that spawns stupid shit like that seen below.
Life: A controversial experience that should be admired instead of unappreciated.
Football: The game that never lets you down. Even when your team is losing, it is still great to see a kid receive a concussive tackle.
Now.
What a way to start of December. Finally I'm posting this; a kickstart to the great final month of 2010 and for me in the States!
Bordem: An activity that spawns stupid shit like that seen below.
Life: A controversial experience that should be admired instead of unappreciated.
Football: The game that never lets you down. Even when your team is losing, it is still great to see a kid receive a concussive tackle.
Taco Bell: The food that always satisfies hunger. Even when the taco constructer mistakes your order of no sour cream for more sour cream. At least he tried.
Sex: The activity that always pleases. Even if its slow going, you still have a hard on.
Slut: A person who overcompensates for their mental deficiencies.
God: An entity to thank for women who overcompensate for their mental deficiencies.
Indians: What Native Americans are called.
Telemarketers: What Indians are called.
Taco Bell: A Mexican restaurant.
Mexico: Every planet needs a loser.
Sex after marriage: An activity that USED to be mandatory.
Horse racing: The race that starts with a blind horse and ends with a blind gambler.
Jersey Shore: Food for thought.
Alcohol: Killing one homeless man at a time.
Video games: Something that makes a pussy shrivel.
Small towns: Where the best parties are in a garage.
Bonfires: Entertainment for the wasted.
My hometown: Where parties in a garage end by a bonfire.
Baseball: The other game that never lets you down. Unless you’ve been trapped at Wrigley Field for 102 years.
Diamonds: The gift that lasts forever. (Well, at least for her.) Even when she leaves you, that bitch still got bling.
Slavery: The reason black people dominate sports and have spectacular rhythm.
Racism: The reason Alabama doesn't carry black crayons.
Water Tetris: The newest sport. Next will be fucking NASCAR...
Call of Duty: The reason Mark Kirk claimed to be a war hero.
Middle Eastern Life: Stop and think about it. Now you know why Bin Laden is so pissed off. Not to mention his HD receiver isn't in yet.
AIDS: Say no to butt sex.
McDonalds: Everybody has one; mine just happens to be Hustler.
Golf: A quick way to intoxication and an unapproved visit to anger management.
Golf: The only game where hitting your balls while holding the base of your shaft is fun.
Study abroad: The study of women.
Change: Something the President and a transexuals have in common.
Change: It came, we see it, and we said...never mind.
Muslims: Kill yourself for eternal glory.
- Love, Jesus
Laws: Originating with a prick in Babylon and presently pleasantly enforced by your local dickhead with a badge.
Prom night: A night that breeds future serial killers.
Drunk Drivers: Perpetuating the evolution of highway laws every Saturday.
Sunglasses: A device men use to look at boobs, unobtrusively.
Porn: The primary reason your man isn't cheating on you. So quit bitching, bitch.
"This is too long to read." Its a fucking post-it note.
Sally: A name insecure and unsure straight "culchie" men call gay men.
Fourth Graders: Shit heads that eat glue.
Eighth Graders: Shit heads that eat chalk.
Twelfth Graders: Dumb shits.
High School: Where book covers are made from posters.
Miller Lite: Beer flavored piss.
Miller Lite: Even beer needs a loser.
Alcoholic women: Ladies that do shots to celebrate their emergence into the third trimester.
Your Mom: A very lovely woman.
Facebook: "Liking" shit is in.
Jeopardy: What came first, the question or the answer?
Penis: Whether you have one or you want on one, we all revolve around dick.
Hormones. The reason for domestic violence.
Kentucky Fried Chicken: Solving domestic violence.
Women: They know how to work a man. They will either manipulate your nuts or mutilate your nuts to get what they want. Although there is no way mutilation can become a positive activity, hopefully manipulation can be turned into some kind of bedroom game.
Divorce: Brought to you by Women's Rights.
"Life sucks, then you die." Thanks for the motivation Pop.
-Skitz
Which one is the most thought provoking for you?
(I am unapologetic for anything in this post. Sorry to my future employer.)
Diamonds: The gift that lasts forever. (Well, at least for her.) Even when she leaves you, that bitch still got bling.
Slavery: The reason black people dominate sports and have spectacular rhythm.
Racism: The reason Alabama doesn't carry black crayons.
Water Tetris: The newest sport. Next will be fucking NASCAR...
Call of Duty: The reason Mark Kirk claimed to be a war hero.
Middle Eastern Life: Stop and think about it. Now you know why Bin Laden is so pissed off. Not to mention his HD receiver isn't in yet.
AIDS: Say no to butt sex.
McDonalds: Everybody has one; mine just happens to be Hustler.
Golf: A quick way to intoxication and an unapproved visit to anger management.
Golf: The only game where hitting your balls while holding the base of your shaft is fun.
Study abroad: The study of women.
The 2008 Presidential Election: White people making up for slavery.
The 2008 Presidential Election: The black vote.
The 2010 Mid-term Election: White people making up for Obama's election.
The 2010 Mid-term Election: What black vote?
Change: Something the President and a transexuals have in common.
Change: It came, we see it, and we said...never mind.
Muslims: Kill yourself for eternal glory.
- Love, Jesus
Laws: Originating with a prick in Babylon and presently pleasantly enforced by your local dickhead with a badge.
Prom night: A night that breeds future serial killers.
Drunk Drivers: Perpetuating the evolution of highway laws every Saturday.
Sunglasses: A device men use to look at boobs, unobtrusively.
Porn: The primary reason your man isn't cheating on you. So quit bitching, bitch.
"This is too long to read." Its a fucking post-it note.
Sally: A name insecure and unsure straight "culchie" men call gay men.
Fourth Graders: Shit heads that eat glue.
Eighth Graders: Shit heads that eat chalk.
Twelfth Graders: Dumb shits.
High School: Where book covers are made from posters.
Miller Lite: Beer flavored piss.
Miller Lite: Even beer needs a loser.
Alcoholic women: Ladies that do shots to celebrate their emergence into the third trimester.
Your Mom: A very lovely woman.
Facebook: "Liking" shit is in.
Jeopardy: What came first, the question or the answer?
Penis: Whether you have one or you want on one, we all revolve around dick.
Hormones. The reason for domestic violence.
Kentucky Fried Chicken: Solving domestic violence.
Women: They know how to work a man. They will either manipulate your nuts or mutilate your nuts to get what they want. Although there is no way mutilation can become a positive activity, hopefully manipulation can be turned into some kind of bedroom game.
Divorce: Brought to you by Women's Rights.
"Life sucks, then you die." Thanks for the motivation Pop.
-Skitz
Which one is the most thought provoking for you?
(I am unapologetic for anything in this post. Sorry to my future employer.)
No comments:
Post a Comment